Here's my plan...

We'll see if Sweeting obliges.

I spent 4 1/2 hours in the emergency room Saturday night. Not in labor. But, right around 36 weeks I start to develop asthma like symptoms that are NOT asthma and do not respond to any asthma treatments. I have had test after test after test performed on my heart and lungs and veins and blah blah blah blah blah. They all show that I cannot breathe but nobody knows why.

So, Saturday I went into the ER because I couldn't breathe and my face was starting to tingle. I knew all I needed was some oxygen, but they wanted to admit me and keep me overnight for further testing. I was already breathing fine again, and I knew that there was no new test that was going to tell them anything and was going to end up costing us a ton of money.

Then they tried to tell me that they wanted to be sure that I wasn't in labor and that's what the problem was. I told them I was NOT in labor. I would know if I was in labor. The resident OB told me that I was contracting. I said I know, but that would mean I have been in labor for 3 1/2 months, now. (The ironic thing about this conversation was that the last time I was in OB triage, I was trying to convince them that I was in labor and they wouldn't admit me. Once my water broke outside the elevator, and I delivered Porkchop 30mins later, they realized maybe I knew what I was talking about.) I finally got them to release me. And was home at 12:30am.

So, tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. I am hoping that after she checks me, she will tell me it's time to get this show on the road. But, only if Sweeting is ready. I do not want to start down the road of medical intervention. So, no pitocin. I can't have that anyway, since I am having my 3rd VBAC and pitocin and VBACs do not mix. And I certainly want to avoid a c-sec.

Think of us tomorrow and let's hope that I'll have little Sweeting in my hot little hands by bedtime tomorrow. I doubt it. But, hey! Let's hope.

Reason #438593 why I love my husband...

Right now I am alone.
I will go to bed alone.
I will remain alone all night long.
I will wake up alone, whenever the hell I feel like it.
I will eat my breakfast alone.
I will shower alone.
I will read for awhile alone.
I will do some nesting alone.
I will eat my lunch alone.
I may go for a walk with Humphrey.
I will nap alone.
I will welcome my family home.

ok, ok, ok

For those who want to see it, here is a picture of my belly at 37 weeks.

Happy Birthday Little One...

Peek-In-Monday

Argh! I wish Max wasn't so shy! But, he was totally stepping out like Fred Estaire with his cousin Grace. Unfortunately as soon as I turned the camera on him he was done. But, you get a taste.

Today, I'm going to be a good mom AND have a clean house.

So, now that I have started my lovely new index card system, my laundry is all done, there is no crap laying around, my kitchen floor has been clean for 4 days, my meals are planned and my grocery list is made, my bills are paid, and the bathrooms (yes, even the children's bathroom) are sparkling. *sigh* loverly.

My kids? Well, let's just say that every night they ask me hopefully if I'm going out. Or when they got home from school yesterday they heard me pull out the shoe crate from under the bench in the hallway and they enthusiastically yelled their good-byes only to discover that I was simply putting away Jellybean's errant shoes that had been left on the floor. Their faces dropped and Jellybean mumbled, "Sorry, Mommy."

I don't know what my deal is. I can't seem to get everything up to the good-enough standard. I have to instead go cyclically from one area of my life to the next cleaning up the chaos and bad feelings I left behind while neglecting the other areas leading to chaos and hurt feelings. I know part of it is ADD and hyperfocus and the typical ADD cycles. But, ugh how I crave that much philosophied and New Age-ified BALANCE. I'm hoping that once I get the index card system up and running I'll be able to relax a bit and focus on the reason why I have the stupid file box in the first place. To give me the space and opportunity to nurture the people I love around me.

Chances are though, the file box will just start to gather dust until I can't stand the state of the house anymore.

The promised update...

I got to spend the day being poked and prodded to try and discover the mystery ailment that causes me to be unable to breathe at the end of my pregnancy. Not regular unable to breathe. Extra-special unable to breathe. Asthma-like. But it refuses to respond to any asthma treatments. (hospital breathing treatments, oral steroids, inhaled steroids, albuterol inhalers, Advair, Claritin, nothing!) I have had my heart explored, my lungs X-rayed, today I got to have my horrific varicose veins scanned for blood clots (very uncomfortable, I do not recommend it) and pulmonary such and such tests. All this time and money to show that...Yes, I cannot breathe. and No, they do not know why.

The only remedy? Deliver this darling little Sweeting of mine. (The delivery part is a little tricky when you can't take a deep breath to push.)

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I started the index card system from Side-Tracked Home Executives and I have to say that I love the hands on concreteness of it. FlyLady drove me batty with all her pestering emails. This is completely under my control and I can decide what works best when.

The basic premise is to write down all of your daily jobs on yellow index cards, bi/weekly on blue, bi/monthly and seasonal on white. You indicate how much time each job takes, any job being 10 mins or less is indicated as a "mini." In the index file box you have month cards and 1-31 cards. You then make yourself a little weekly schedule mine is as follows:

Monday: Heavy Cleaning day (4 hours)
Tuesday: Laundry
Wednesday: Quiet Day (pay bills, make menu/grocery lists, make appointments etc)
Thursday: run errands
Friday: Moderate Cleaning (2 hours) and Laundry
Saturday: Baking
Sunday: Family and God

then with the help of my calendar I plug all the index cards into the slots and voila! I have a schedule! Once I'm done with my card I move it to the slot when I will do it next.

It's a bit more in depth then I'm allowing here (They wrote a whole book after all!) but that is the general gist. What I like about this system as well, is that once Sweeting gets here and someone comes over and asks what they can help with, I can just pull the cards from that day's slot and tell them to pick a card! How beautiful is that?!

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For my birthday a couple of weeks ago, my darling beloved husband made me a mix CD (Yes, we still make these for each other! Remember we met in high school!) and there was a song on it that I thought was nice and all but couldn't quite place until he told me it reminded him of when he came home from Belfast...and came looking for me again.
luckily, he found me.
Some day I'll tell you that story, because well, it's one of the great love stories.
and the song? It turned me into a big puddle of weepy goo because then the song made all the sense in the world.

Finally, what I've been trying to tell everyone...

It's actually easier...

Peek-In-Monday

I'm still here! I promise to update tomorrow. I had an OB appointment today and have several annoying tests I have to go through tomorrow.

In the meantime to whet your chops, here's my sister and newborn Ada.

Happy to report...

My cell phone is covered in sticky caramel fingerprints.

Cool day yesterday

I had such a cool day yesterday. I had three friends, that I haven't seen in 10-15 years, in town from various corners of the world. We got to hang out for the afternoon while our kids played and then go out to dinner at one of Bob and my favorite pubs (Even if it is Welsh). I can't tell you how much seeing them and being called by my childhood nickname and maiden name sparked something deep inside that somehow has gotten lost over the years. It was something I didn't even know I was missing. Something that I can't begin to describe or put my finger on. But it was something that is so integral to what makes me, "ME."


And I love how I look tall in this picture! (top right)